Emotional regulation is the process by which individuals influence which emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express their feelings. Some may believe that when they feel an emotion, they have no control over their reaction. Today we are going to talk about our life, our emotions and how to regulate them. How to react when something makes you mad or sad? Could you use some suggestions to try to regulate your emotions?
What Are Emotions?
Emotions are feelings we encounter which are caused by situations we encounter or from the people we are with. For example, do you become angry if someone cuts you off in traffic? Is there a situation or activity that would fill you with fear? Is there someone you feel hatred toward? Can you think of someone that brings a warmth and happiness to you when you are around them? All of those are emotions. How we handle ourselves when we feel these emotions is important and that is what we are talking about today.
How Do I Recognize Unhealthy Emotional Regulation?
Experiencing feelings and emotions is a part of life for each of us. Learning and using skills to handle those emotions is important. Unhealthy emotional regulation can be defined as having trouble controlling your emotions and how you act upon your feelings. Have you been told that you react out of proportion toward situations? Do you find it hard to handle situations that make you angry or sad? You are not alone. If we aren’t taught the skills to handle our emotions, they can become overwhelming when we feel them, even as adults. Below are some examples of symptoms that may be present if someone struggles with unhealthy emotional regulation.
- Angry outbursts
- Mood shifts
- Self-harm
- Feelings of shame
- Substance or alcohol abuse
- Impulsiveness
While there are other things that can cause these symptoms, if you find it hard to know how to react or respond when you have high emotion, these symptoms could be from not regulating emotions.
How Can I Regulate My Emotions?
Having emotions are a normal part of life. All of us will experience things that make us feel some sort of emotion. Knowing this is a good first step to process within us. We will all experience anger, fear, sadness, happiness and many other emotions. The important next step is how to handle those emotions. Below are some suggested steps that could help you the next time you are trying to process your emotions.
- Aim to regulate your response, not repression of your feelings
- Identify what it is you are feeling and say that
- Accept what you are feeling, each emotion
- Decide if there is immediate danger or impact to someone
- Practice some deep breathing, in for five seconds and out for five seconds
- Release your feelings in a safe way, like screaming into a pillow
- Reframe from releasing your feelings in the moment, such as with your boss
If you find that you need help understanding why you respond to things the way you do, we are here to help. Sometimes learning new ways to handle emotions can be hard. You are not alone.
