Avoidance behavior is seen as actions people take to escape or distract themselves from difficult thoughts, feelings, situations or tasks. This behavior doesn’t resolve the issues. Avoidance behavior can actually add to existing stressors and negatively impact relationships. Avoiding processing our thoughts and making decisions or completing what needs to get done in life can add to the stress of life. We are going to talk about that today. Do you find yourself avoiding the hard things? Do you know someone else who may struggle with this?
What Are Examples of Avoidance?
There are many actions that can be seen as avoidance. Some of them may be familiar to all of us, but some may surprise you. Being able to exist and live in the present is important. Just like living in the past or dreaming of the future can prevent you from enjoying your life, so can avoiding. Learning to accept what is true and real for today and taking steps in making decisions is a part of life. A part that we all need to be able to accomplish. Below are actions that are seen as avoidance. Are any of these familiar for you?
- Procrastination
- Avoiding social activities
- Alcohol or substance abuse
- Deep emotions left unexpressed & not talked about
- Leaving gatherings to avoid conversations or goodbyes
- Passive- aggressive behavior
- Canceling plans at the last minute
- Denial
- Not answering texts or calls
- Escaping behaviors to avoid facing reality
While there are other reasons that someone would display one of these behaviors, understanding why is important to maintain healthy relationships. Offering support and understanding while someone works through taking steps to change is needed. Also, being able to recognize when someone is not willing to work on the things they should is equally as important. Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships is important for each of us and each of us have to be willing to take the steps we need to for growth and change.
How Can I Change Avoidance Behaviors?
Understanding why you avoid certain things is a great first place to start. Ask yourself questions around the things you avoid.
- Why do I avoid this?
- When was the last time I completed this task?
- How does avoiding it make me feel?
- Does me avoiding this impact someone else?
Try to be completely honest with yourself when you are examining these answers. Remember, the goal is to get to the truth. The only way we can ever truly work on change is to be completely honest about reality. Write your answers and journal your thoughts.
Steps Toward Chage.
Once you are able to process your feelings and thoughts around your avoidance, it may be time to take steps toward change. Remember, if you continue to avoid, you are robbing yourself from healing and being able to function day to day in a healthy way for yourself and others. Are you ready to take a step toward being real with yourself about your feelings, your avoidance and make a change? Below are some suggestions that could help you do so.
- Start to take note of what things stress you out
- Process your choices slowly, and if you are saying no, ask yourself why
- Remember times from the past, have you avoided this before
- Determine if this choice or event is causing you emotional pain or discomfort
- Ask yourself why on the above steps and take note of your thoughts
- Fight the urge to avoid
- Remind yourself of your current situation. You are safe, these thoughts and feelings will pass
Avoiding the things that make us uncomfortable is natural. We learn this from an early age. But resolving to remain there can cause issues within us and in our relationships. Taking steps toward change can be hard. We understand. You are not alone. Upstate Restorative Counseling is here to help.
If you have tried to take steps to not avoid and you need additional support, reach out. We have counselors here who are ready to help you make a plan for yourself with your goals.
