Some of the synonyms of independence are self-ruling, self-determination, self-reliance or self-sufficiency. What is obvious in each of those words is “self”. Independence is a belief that we are capable of relying on ourselves. It is often paired with an equal determination to not need help from anyone. A simpler definition stated it was freedom from the control, influence, support or aid from others. If these descriptions seem familiar to you of yourself, today’s blog could help you gain an understanding if you are too independent. We are going to take a look of when independence is too much and why letting others help you can be good.
Do I Let People Help?
Does this thought make you feel uncomfortable? You are not the only one, I assure you. I am hanging on to every word I write, as I too, struggle to receive help from others. Being willing to take steps that are uncomfortable are necessary to overcome the things we struggle with. It can actually improve your mental health. We were created for community and relationships. Helping others and allowing others to help you carries great benefit. Will you take a step to allow someone to help you? By taking a step you could…
- Improves mental health
- Overall better physical health
- Better relationships
- Helping others can lengthen your life
- Outlook on life improves
Taking a step to receive help can be hard. It may help to try and remember that although it feels hard, there may be reward in it. New things are hard and we can do hard things.
I Can Do It On My Own.
If you struggle with control and independence, you may believe that you can do all the necessary things yourself. You may even be capable of this most of the time. However, life has a way of placing circumstances where we need other people. In those times, it is good to rely on those who offer genuine help. Living a life where you only depend on yourself can create anxiety and lead to a life crisis eventually. Can you remember a time in your life where it would have been beneficial to have help, but you didn’t? Maybe you can take a step and let someone in. Here is a list of things to consider that can form when we structure our lives alone.
- Isolation leads to worry, anxiety, doubt and stress
- Relationships suffer
- Existing fears could deepen
- Unhealthy balance in friendships can damage them
- Depression is more common
Taking a step may be hard, however, it is a step that we all need to take. Being willing to receive help when needed and offering help to others is necessary when doing life with others. We both benefit when receiving or helping. Ready to take a step? Keep reading where we will talk about just that.
How Do I Let Someone Help?
People who are too independent will often state that being vulnerable is hard for them. That is understandable because there is a boundary up that we need to lower in able to be vulnerable. Starting somewhere with a small step is necessary. That can look different for each of us depending on our experiences and mindsets. The one thing we all have in common is that there is a small step each one of us can take. Starting somewhere is the goal. Below are steps as well as things you can ponder that may help you in understanding why you struggle to receive help. Try to find your why then see if there is a small step you can take.
- Examine what you believe about receiving help
- Consider what friend you have that you trust
- Remember who has asked to help you often
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable with the friend you trust
- Recognize if you are in need of help and ask someone you trust
- Do it afraid, receive help when offered
- Write or journal what you are grateful for in their help
These are beginning points that may help you take a step in allowing others in. If you have tried and are having issues moving forward, you are not alone. Upstate Restorative Counseling has a team of therapist who want to help.