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Treat Yourself!

Treat Yourself!

Welcome to an unusual time of the year. It seems that many of us are in limbo waiting for the plants to bloom, weather to change, the next big holiday to roll around and the surprises they bring. After the new year has begun Spring is a wonderful a time of year when we are constantly being reminded of renewal of new life by the plants and trees and how hope can be restored once again.


Spring is a time when we can begin to see the world reviving itself with beautiful flowers in bloom, baby animals being born, and the world renewing itself.

It is inspirational, watching the colors and beauty blooming all around us after the long, cold winter. Bright colors from beautiful trees, rich green grass, and exquisitely designed, colorful flowers all around. It is truly inspiring.

Spring Cleaning.

In saying this, it can be assumed this is where the concept, “Spring Cleaning,” comes from. It can be a time for each person to renew, spring up new vibrant colors from all the hard work over the dark, cold days of winter months. Now, many spring cleaning may be seen as a chore that reminds one of the chaos that can be problematic in our lives, or it can be viewed as a therapeutic endeavor to take on in the current moment. Consider a spin on the traditional sense of “Spring Cleaning” and think about some self-care ideas tied around spring cleaning.

In past articles, we have discussed the importance of writing things down, figuring out the emotions tied to our feelings and recording it on a piece of paper, your computer, a journal, or a notebook. Let’s push it a little further, with some more self-care to consider.

Writing with Purpose.

Find a journal with questions or use some online prompts, take 2 minutes, and just write whatever the prompt is asking you to share about. Do not think, just write. The significance of this is to write without stopping, do not worry about grammar and spelling, just write.  Try researching “self-care journal prompts” to find some options to get started on writing these prompts.

The important thing to keep in mind here is to give yourself a minimum of two-minutes on a timer. If you find this to be too short of a time, for your daily prompt, add another minute. However, keep in mind your daily schedule and try to do this around the same time every day.

Keep Track.

Find a planner/write down what you do all day for one day—if you feel ambitious, try writing what you do during an entire workweek. If this is tedious, you can start with one day during the week, a day you go into work, and write down all the things you do accomplish. If you feel ambitious, maybe you can do this every day during the work week. At the end of said working week, look back at the day(s) in which you wrote everything down that you accomplished.

Do you notice anything? This exercise is to help take a temperature of your everyday life.

Be Intentional.

Work is important but are you doing anything for yourself during the day. Now this self-care does not have to be grandiose, but it needs to be intentional and something for yourself.

When you are feeling burnt out, are you taking a walk around the building, finding some human interaction, stepping away from the screen.

This can do two things: it gives you an opportunity for a mental and physical break/timeout. It can also help when you are finding yourself in a mundane routine where you are feeling stuck.

New Perspective.

Take yourself out on a date, no not really, but really, go out to your favorite restaurants, see a movie, go for a walk in a nice park, get a massage, or get your nails done. It does not have to be expensive—but as in the words of a “Parks and Recreation” character, “TREAT YOSELF!”

This activity can be done alone or with a group of people, it is up to you how you find your rest. Be mindful that group activities although could be fun, they can also be exhausting. Whatever you do, it should be something that brings you joy or takes you out of your comfort zone.

Embrace Moments.

Choose something that is intentionally outside of your routine. Moments where you just rest and can find an escape from all the worry and noise going on. Literally take a break, as best as you can, and just rest in the moments of peace. Some ideas for embracing moments are:


Find a project you are interested in, or an organization you would like to give back to. Figure out what they are looking for, do they need help, do they need clothes, canned foods, fundraisers, or other specific needs? Then figure out what you can do to help/donate. This is a great way to find new homes when you are Spring cleaning and providing items that others may need.

Find Your Passion.

It can be easy for us to get wrapped up in our jobs and lives because it is what we must do. That can mean our passion and reason for doing what we do can lost its spark. Spring can be a great time to reflect and make choices that can rekindle our passions.

Passion is a driving force for humans, it is what helps us get up in the mornings and reminds us of the purpose we serve.

Find time to be pursue your passion. If you have a job where you do a lot of sitting, find something you enjoy doing that is active—yoga, cycling, walking, boot camp, whatever you prefer, as long as it is something that has your entire body working.

Physical activity will do two things, it requires you to use your brain and your body, this combination can release a lot of stress and tension built up over time. The counter to this is that if you have a physically demanding job where you are active all day, find something less physically demanding that you can do, like yoga, or stretching, or reading. Whichever your job requires try and find the balance in your “out of work” activities to help balance what you are missing in your self-care.

These self-care suggestions are just that, suggestions. It is truly up to what you decide to do for yourself. It could be as simple as watching a movie you have been meaning to watch, or it could be discovering a new passion that you have just unlocked. Whatever you do for yourself remember it is up to you to make it your own. You can always find a plan to follow, but you might not find one that suits you, and it does not have to be something regimented.

It really is up to you to find what is helpful and productive in your self-care. If you are a person who needs a schedule, finding a class that you can take the same time every week can be helpful. Some people do not need or want that, perhaps it is something you can do once a month for yourself.

Spring is an exciting time to see all the newness, regeneration of the world, it is also a wonderful time to remind yourself that you too are still blooming, you need a time for renewing, refreshing, and finding time for your self-care.

If you are struggling with finding time or ways to embrace self-care, our therapists would love to help with this. To find our more, please see https://upstaterestorativecounseling.com/life-transitions/


How to Have Peace Within the Chaos.

How to Have Peace Within the Chaos.

Do you ever find yourself:

  • not sleeping, having restless moments in life where peace just constantly slips through your fingers?
  • you have had an interaction with someone, and you feel uneasy? Was it something you said, or something you did not say?
  • are you overthinking a situation, giving it too much energy, now you are in complete exhaustion and still have found no peace, resulting in sleepless nights, lack of productivity in your life and a lack luster for things that once brought you joy?
  • feel like your brain is running at a constant 75mph.

It is also important here to understand something—these emotions are a lot of work and can be extremely exhausting. Although you may think to yourself, “What have I done to feel so tired?” You may be working twice as hard as someone doing physical labor and it is hard on your body.

Navigating life is a lot of work, then when we add a level of hard emotions on top of that, it can weigh down our ability to embrace and successfully manage our daily lives. We have now added a new dynamic into our daily life and what we have come to believe is our normal is now gone. When things that are not a usual part of our life or routine happen, we now must decide on what to do next. Here are some ways to help process those emotions so you can determine if you need to adjust your new normal:

Be Kind.

Give yourself a break and remember to be kind to yourself. Every person is unique and will need to allow themselves to take as much time to processing their thoughts and emotions. Do not feel rushed to just get through this. Take the time you need.

Find Healthy Ways.

How you process through some of these bigger emotions and feelings, or how can you better understand them is specific to you. What is the best way to deal with such heavy, overwhelming feelings? Do you have ways that have work well for you? It is important to take the time to find the tools that help you to better understand how you are feeling and what is causing these feelings.


Here is the truth of it all—you will never master all the emotions that life interjects, but you can find a way that will help you come to terms with what it is you are feeling and where those feelings are coming from. Knowing that we will continue to experience emotions daily will help us in learning how to process and live with those emotions.

Finding Tools.

It may sound a bit silly but find something repetitive that makes sense to you—vacuuming, wiping windows, walking, something that is easy and does not require much thought. It is all in the repetition, there is something soothing about doing the same thing repeatedly that helps our brains to relax, find clarity and helps us process through all the struggle that is in our mind.


It probably sounds a bit crazy but the correlation between our cleaning process and our emotional process is closely related. Think about times when you are in a place that is overcrowded, sweaty and hot, how does your body feel? Better yet how does your mind feel? It can be overwhelming, in those moments your body and mind are processing a lot, and what must happen for you to continue functioning.


Now, think about a moment when you walk into a place that is clean and smells wonderful. How do you feel? Are your emotions heightened or minimal? How does your body feel, how does your mind feel? Although cleaning may not be the repetitive task you choose to do, keep this analogy in mind. You are essentially cleaning your emotions. Sometimes you are stuck on a thought for a long time, and you must consistently talk about it over and over and over again, until suddenly it makes sense. Much like a repetitive action, you must do it multiple times to see the results.

Here are some other healthy ways to de-clutter our emotions:

  • Painting—take a class, or find some paints at a Dollar Tree, it does not have to be anything fancy just something that allows you to be interactive. Pick lots of colors, use your fingers, do what feels right, comforting. Being creative is a wonderful way to tap into other areas of our brains and to help us to exhale and relax.
  • Put on a diffuser and sit somewhere—smell is a great way for you to get in touch with your emotions. Smells can also trigger peace, tranquility but be mindful of the scents you are choosing. Choose scents that are calming, or that encourages a good memory.
  • Lay in the sun—naturally, the sun has great healing qualities, and the warmth can sometimes feel like the hug we all need.
  • Write down little positive notes and stick them around the house—it can be the same thing or different quotes, but they must be uplifting and be on paper that you like.
  • Find a local business that allows you to go pick some flowers, fruit, or vegetables. Go pick out something new that you would like to try—if you are picking flowers, pick an arrangement that you like and place it where you can see it first thing in the morning when you wake up.
  • Write it all down—it may seem redundant, and it may be something you have heard constantly—sit somewhere and write, write it down, write down how you feel, how you do not feel, what you think, write it all down.

Emotions require maintenance and if we are not careful poor maintenance will leave us deficient, broken down. Your emotions should only ever be ruled by you and no one else. When we are able to understand that, even when we become emotionally overloaded, we can also understand that it is time to take a step back, breathe and be refocus.

You Are Worth It. Therapy can Help.

You are worth the time that it takes to understand and manage your emotions. You deserve the best that you have to offer and taking the time and maybe some of these tips you can exhale and focus on bringing a little more peace into your chaos. If this is something you would like help with, our therapists would love to walk alongside you as you do the work to bring more peace into your life. For more information, please see:  https://upstaterestorativecounseling.com/

Do I Have Healthy Relationships?

Do I Have Healthy Relationships?

For many of us we spend a lot of our lives trying to find a balance in what should be a healthy relationship. Even with those efforts, we still have countless disappointments, heart breaks, confusions, and constant miscommunications that leave us with a huge pit in our stomachs.

So often, we come to the conclusion that the relationship is lacking in what we truly thought we wanted. But what is it that we want exactly? Many times, we think we want someone who will bring me flowers every day or will go on adventures with me or maybe will go out dancing with me. While those are wonderful wants, we really need relationships where we feel seen, heard, and feel safe to share and relationships that will encourage and support us.

Am I Healthy in My Relationships?

What are the healthy qualities of a relationship? What exactly is a healthy quality? Are my qualities unhealthy, is that why that we keep finding ourselves in similar situations? Is it me? Well yes, it is us, but there is not anything wrong with it being ourselves, because after all this is our lives, we are the author, publisher, and designer of our relationships. We have the authority to figure out what a healthy relationship looks like for us.

Now, here comes the uncomfortable part—you are the person who decides who and what is healthy for you. This may mean having to cut out some friends, some habits, a job, and even some family members. Awkward, yes, difficult, yes but can be completely necessary.

Think About Your Relationship For a Moment.

Let’s think about how you feel around others:

  1. Think about moments where you feel at peace, comfortable. It can also be moments where you felt financially stable, was finally able to live on your own or felt really good about a conversation you had with someone. Think of those instances and take notice of what you are feeling in your mind, body, soul, and spirit during these times.
  2. In those moments, what was happening, where were you, and what were you doing?
  3. Who was around you, what were those people doing?
  4. Most importantly, did you feel loved and safe?

In those moments, did it feel like you were close to the sun? Was it warm from the inside out? This may be a weird concept to wrap your head around, but that feeling of warmth and comfort is the core in a healthy relationship. Everything else in life will be chaotic, but those healthy relationships should make you feel comforted, and warm like the sun does. This does not mean those relationships will not challenge you, make you uncomfortable or be difficult, however, there will be patience, kindness, and a whole lot of warm love.

Healthy Relationships Don’t Just Happen.

Healthy relationships take time, and they take work. You do not wake up one morning and you are this amazing fitness guru, it takes practice, learning, time, and patience. All relationships will take continued focus and effort. When we find healthy people, we will want to develop and grow our relationships with them. The effort will be worthwhile because we will benefit from those relationships and continue to grow as a person.


Remember, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Strange right, but really, what do you love most about yourself, what are some of the not so nice things you tell yourself, would you say those things to other people? Is this a healthy relationship? It may sound a bit strange but self-reflection or personal conversations are not only healthy but very vital.

Unhealthy Relationships.

So often we get so used to how some relationships have been, we can forget or even stop noticing that they are not healthy but actually harmful to us. For example, a family member you have been extremely close with for years has continuously taken advantage of your generosity and kindness. They make no effort to reach out to you unless it benefits them. When you do need something, they brush off your feelings, and give you some excuse why they cannot help or meet your needs in some way. You love this person dearly, but realize after years of their behavior, you have enabled an unhealthy relationship. How do you now pull back from giving so freely and constantly of yourself to this person? This dynamic is important to you, but it is unhealthy. It is one-sided and unfairly yoked.

What Now?

First, it is important to take a step back and evaluate where you have come up a little short, and how can you correct this, make it better for both people. Realizing that you are human and so is the other person, each living their own truths. No one is wrong here, but someone has been presented with a hurt and would like to fix that hurt.

This is the part where the relationship you have with yourself needs to take center stage. Before you can begin to work through the conflict with the other person, you need to take some time, figure out what it is you would like to express and the concerns you have. This is going to be an uncomfortable conversation filled with a lot of confrontation, but this is healthy confrontation and is vital. Knowing your needs and how you want to work on this problem is crucial in working through issues in relationships.

You Deserve Healthy. Relationships

The most important thing to any healthy relationship really begins with the one you have with yourself. Take an inventory of what you need, be mindful and kind to yourself. Through it all you deserve to have healthy relationships.

Healthy Can Grow Out of Unhealthy.

By choosing to take the time to reflect and determine your own needs and then working on resolving the issues in a healthy way, an unhealthy relationship can grow into a healthy relationship. By knowing yourself and what you need in your relationships, by working on communication skills and conflict resolution you can make huge strides in strengthening your relationships and bringing them back to a healthy life-giving relationship.

Not All Relationships Can Be Healthy.

This is where true relationships really begin to build and take hold in your life. It is a natural way to allow relationships to either blossom or end. Whatever the aftermath, whether it is a fall out or growth, it is okay. Not every relationship we have is forever, many may be just for a season. But for those relationships that are long-term, the work that you put into making them healthy will be so worth the effort as you continue to thrive and grow in those cherished relationships.

Growth & Support As You Strengthen Relationships – Therapy in Greenville, SC

If you need help in better understanding what a healthy relationship or maybe figuring out how to work on an unhealthy relationship, our therapists are here for you. They would love to walk through this journey with you and help as you evaluate, work on, and celebrate the healthy relationships in your life. For more information, please check out our relationship page on our website:  https://upstaterestorativecounseling.com/relationship-issues/



Do We Really Need Goals Anyway?

Do We Really Need Goals Anyway?

New Year’s a typical time to set goals, start fresh, and have what would seem to be a new beginning. But many of us start off the new year either excited to start a new focus or dreading making yet another goal that we know we will not be able to keep. For many of us we have experienced many years where we have an endless array of let downs because we have not been able to meet our goals with the results we had planned.

What if this year we decided to start with a clean slate? We let go of the frustrations of past goals that we did not achieve and begin to look at goal setting with a new perspective. Many thoughts, opinions and expectations go into helping or hindering our goal making process. Let us take a couple minutes to think about what might be helpful as we begin to work on making goals.

Beware of the Pressure.

Pressures to make goals can come from so many places. Sometimes it is from the people in our life who mean well but may not know what is best for us in this season. It can come from friends who are excited about their own goals and would love to have a friend to do them with. It can come from goals in progress that you may still want to work on. No matter where the motivation for setting a goal is coming from, the goal needs to be personal and meaningful to you. You will be the one who is working on this goal.

An example of pressure that we see during this time ever year is a surge in fitness in media all around us. Due to this pressure, we can see an increase focused on gym attendance. To help motivate people the gyms give promotional ads and free offers to encourage people to get into shape and to reach their fitness goals. While this is not a bad goal for many of us, if we are not choosing it for personal reasons it will be a difficult goal to stay with. For so many when April rolls around, and it is as though the initial fitness goal seems to have dwindled and many have moved on without completing the goals they set on Jan. 1st.

Should I Make Goals?

For most of us it is important to set goals, work towards something you want, something that brings you a little joy. But it is also important to understand that a goal is not something you will achieve in what would seem to be an instant. For example, many people will focus on getting healthy or maybe weight loss. Where so many of us get off track is we try to achieve what would seem more of an instant result instead of realizing that it will take time and consistency in working on our goals to regain our health and lose weight. Having realistic and measurable goals will help you stay with the journey and not give up so quickly when it takes longer than you thought it would.

Choosing Smaller Focuses.

For example, if you want to run a 26-mile marathon and you have never run before there are going to be many steps to take to train for the longer marathon. If you are new to running, maybe you want to walk a few days a week while or maybe you will start with running a 5k. Now that you have that bigger goal, what is something you can do every day to work towards it. What is realistic for your lifestyle? Can you wake up early and take a walk in the morning, are you an afternoon walker, during your lunch hour, or perhaps as the sun is setting you want to watch the sky change colors.

The other important thing to keep in mind when creating these goals is this: does this bring you joy, is it going to bring peace, will it help you get through the day? It makes no sense to set a goal that feels like a chore especially at the end of an extremely stressful day. Make your goal not only something achievable but something you look forward to at the end of your day.

Find the fun and happiness in your goal. Although a goal can be a task and daunting it is not supposed to be something that leaves you in a paralyzed state, ashamed and revisiting your perceived failure.

You Have Not Failed.

This brings us to another common misconception in setting a goal: if it is not this grand change in my life, it is not really a goal, and I have not really achieved anything. FALSE. If out of 365 days last year you walked a total of ten times, this year a goal maybe be to double that, or maybe you walk eleven times in a year. That my friends are an incredible feat and should not be overshadowed. It is all the small steps you have taken that will lead you to succeeding in your bigger goals.

Celebrate Your Wins.

Celebrate your wins no matter how small they may seem. Make it a game, challenge yourself, and celebrate your victory that day. Write it down once achieved, write down how you felt while you were in progress, write down how you felt before, and write down how it made you feel afterwards. Remember those moments of success and the inspiration you felt either during, before, or after. “I cannot believe that I just ran for 5 minutes without stopping—I can’t believe it!”. And do dare feel a bit of guilt for not being able to work as hard or achieving the same goal the following day. Pick back up as soon as you can and continue to move forward.

Need to Adjust.

Every day is not going to be the same, it is important you set small bite-size goals for yourself. If your resolution is to spend 3 days in the gym working hard but you only make it two and decide to maybe talk a walk the other day, that is a great success. You defeated the odds, despite everything your body was telling you that day to not go to the gym, to not workout, to just go home, you still took yourself out for a brief walk and got your legs moving, got your heart pumping.

That is not only dedication, but it is also a way you have begun to re-wire your thought process and your brains way of finding a new outlet for comfort. Instead of laying on the couch for 4 hours after a long day at work, you got up walked breathed the air and did something your body and mind were fighting against. That is an amazing goal achieved!

Goals Are a Lifelong Pursuit.

It is said that for people to create habits it takes about 21 days of consistent work and for people to lose that habit it only takes 3 days to get out of that routine. This is a farce, it takes a lifetime for us to change and maintain our habits, to achieve our goals and to find our success.

We spend a good majority of our life relearning what we have been made to believe about ourselves from our family, from the media, and from the world. In life it is important to remember goals are supposed to be challenging because they are supposed to make us grow. They are supposed to be ever-changing to challenge our way of thinking our lifestyles and creating a new narrative wherein which you are the star.

Not Sure Where to Start?

This New Year, challenge yourself, try something out of your comfort zone, take it off in small bites. And do not become discouraged because it is not exactly what you perceived it to be. You can do this!

If you are not sure where to start here are some small everyday goals to try out either alone or with a friend:

  1. Take 2 minutes, set a timer, and just close your eyes breathe deeply
  2. Every hour, get up from your desk and walk to get more water, walk to check in on a coworker, walk to the outside of your building
  3. Spend a few minutes in the morning stretching as you wake up, check in with your body, how are you feeling
  4. Every time you ready a page in a book, put a dollar in a jar, at the end of the month, count your dollars, and buy yourself a new book, and save the rest.
  5. Try to meal prep for one meal during the week—breakfast, lunch, or dinner. For example: overnight oats are as easy as measuring one cup of oats to one cup of your choice of liquid (recommended: oat, almond, or regular milk)

Share Your Goals and Your Progress.

Share your goals, tell us about your experience and where you have found success, or where even you have not met your goal. Because all of us have goals that are still unmet, and it is in that progress we find out what our success really is. If you need some help in making new goals, our therapists will brainstorm, encourage, and help you as you work towards a new goal this year. If you would like a little more information, please take a look here https://upstaterestorativecounseling.com/life-transitions/



Are Your Relationships Life Giving?

Are Your Relationships Life Giving?

The scariest part of relationships is coming to a place where you must start dealing with one. We have all started a new job, gone somewhere we know no one, or been in a place where we have to grocery shop alone. Friends are not necessarily everywhere and able to be present in every situation to help navigate the complications of life. But those relationships play an important role in how we interact and live in the world.

Why are relationships so easy when we are younger?

As children we find it easy to make what would be seamless friendships. Whether we like the same doll, or you have a pretty shirt on, or better yet our moms have made us besties from birth with the endless play dates. But what happens when we begin to grow, and our childhood bestie starts to do things we do not like or do not agree with. Or better yet, what happens when our own parents or other relationships begin to change, we do not like or agree with how the relationship is changing? How is it we can navigate these relationship boundaries and bonds from birth?

I want to run as fast I can away from confrontation!

In every relationship there will come a time when you are faced with the world known as confrontation—it is awkward, annoying, and really uncomfortable. The last thing anyone wants to do is look at someone and say “hey, you know when you said that it was ugly and really hurt my feelings, I know your intention wasn’t to be mean, but it just really hit a nerve with me.”  After saying that we can immediately feel guilty for either telling someone they hurt is or for being the person who did something hurtful or wrong. We all have had that sinking feeling of being unintentionally harmful in our language or how we treated someone. We can get caught up right there in the feelings of that moment. Ugh, now whether you are on the receiving end or giving end of this type of conversation there is a lot of emotions that will need to be worked through. And while our intention may be to never to hurt a person, including ourselves these situations still do happen! When these situations happen to us, we tend to excuse others and their behavior at the expense of our own continued hurt. Learning to deal with confrontation in a healthy way is possible and needed if we want to have life giving relationships.

How do you take care of you within your relationship?

There is a solution! Our thearpists can help! How you may ask well, let me share for a moment if you would: therapy.

Having a person who you can sit with and share some of your struggles from an unbiased, unknowing perspective is insightful. Together we will create a safe space that allows you take the time to look at the relationship and how it is affecting you. We will also help you look at yourself and determine what you need in relationships. The most important relationship is the one we must create with ourselves, and we can help you move forward with developing that. What does this look like? For everyone it will be a little different. For example, when you think of a relaxing evening, what does that include, what is your self-care routine? Are you a person who likes to be pampered or is sitting on the couch binging your favorite show something that entices you? Wherever you find your peace and can relax, let go, and breathe that is your self-care, that is your time in your relationship. It is important to spend time with yourself, listen to what your body, mind, and soul need.

How does taking care of myself help me in my relationships?

Unfortunately, as a society, some will view self-care as a selfish concept, how dare you take a moment to breath? Do you mean to tell me that you cannot work 60-hour work weeks? What, how ridiculous! The truth is: our relationships with ourselves take a backseat to everything else in our lives, every other person, place, and thing. And we must remember that the relationship we have with ourselves is reflective of the relationship we have with those around us. We cannot give to others what we do not have to give. If we are always running on empty it will be very hard to be encouraging and supportive of others.

How can I begin to take care of myself?

Here is a challenge: take a moment, take a breath, and listen what do you hear, what do you feel, and what do you smell? Take time to engage all your senses and take note of how that feels exactly. Is it a good feeling, bad feeling, indifferent? Is it strange, do you feel a bit silly just sitting there waiting? Do not worry you are not alone, and this exercise may not be one you find helpful. But when you take that moment to breath, you can start to hear something of the resounding things in your head. Things that happened at work, things that happened at the grocery store. All the interactions you had and just how that made you feel. This first step in making the time to exhale can lead to a healthy practice of reflection.

How we feel about ourselves reflects directly on all our relationships.

Think about it, when you got cut-off on the freeway this morning, did it leave you in a frantic mood and then by default left you in sort of an odd, irritated mood? Or were you able to take a breath, be grateful no one was hurt and let that go? This is how our self-relationship plays a role in the relationships around us. When we are confronted with a person who is a little more crass or abrupt, what is your reaction? Does it mirror the energy you received from the person or situation or is there a level of understanding that taking a step back, being patient and respecting that maybe this is not a relationship we need, want, or would like to be a part of. Knowing yourself and what you need in relationships is necessary in developing life-giving relationships.

What are we hoping to receive from relationships?

The next challenge here would be this: make a list, what are some of the things that bring you joy, it could be anything, a nice piece of chocolate, when someone holds the door opened for you, an awful dad-joke that leaves you chuckling endlessly. Now do you associate anyone with any of these things, do they bring a smile to your face, or bring you peace in your heart, or calm your spirit. Think of the relationships that are purely simple, that require little to no complications. The ones that make you feel warm, the ones that want to just sit and binge watch your favorite show or go on that 13-mile hike with you. Relationships are hard work, they take a lot of patience, a lot of listening, a lot of kindness, but they are innately not supposed to be harmful. They are supposed to make you think a little more, work a little harder to be the best version of yourself.

Relationships are ever evolving.

We want to be surrounded by life-giving relationships, but it is important to emphasize that not all relationships are going to be life giving or last for a long time. There are relationships that we cannot choose to like in the workplace. We all are growing and trying to be the best versions of ourselves. Sometimes those versions take different direction and that is okay.

Relationship Therapy in Greenville, SC

If you are struggling in a relationship, we would love to help you work on resolving those issues. How can we help you as you choose to be the best you can be and to build life giving relationships? For more information on resolving relationship issues please click on our service resource https://upstaterestorativecounseling.com/relationship-issues/